Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
