I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
