Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
