Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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