about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
