even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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