So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
