Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
