i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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