He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
