A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
