No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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