its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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