Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
