Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
