i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
