I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
