I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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