I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
