Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
