apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
