Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
