Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
