You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
