May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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