Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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