This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize