11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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