Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
