How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
birth control should be required to get into college
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
