i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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