Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
