He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
