i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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