I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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