Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
