I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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