conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
