Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
