I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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