I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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