Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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