This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize