i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
