i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
