my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
