I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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