So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
