yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
