Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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