You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
