did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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