"it" just moved
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
