We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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