Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have already put on my inside pants.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
