Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
