i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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