Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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