i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
