People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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