i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
