Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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