My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
